Monday, March 10, 2008
Free pharmaceuticals for everyone!
Industry executives have banded together to announce a program to distribute health-affirming pharmaceuticals for free for every American. According to a press release from the world's most profitable industry, the program is already in place, and Americans have been benefitting by ingesting drugs that will help to lower their blood pressure and cholesterol, relieve pain, and encourage bodily growth(s). The program is being touted for its low price and convenience. The industry is rolling out the program with no charge to patients, and distributing the medications conveniently through drinking water. "We may consider a way to try to charge patients for this largesse in the future," stated one industry insider, who wished to remain anonymous. "It's outrageous that patients can derive a pharmaceutical benefit like this without any remuneration whatsoever. This makes the Canadian problem seem trivial in comparison."